November 24, 2014

Divorcees, from Wicked Pictures

Time: 1:39, Director: Stormy Daniels, Date: 2013
Screenshots: On our Tumblr
Cast: Molly Bennett (20yo), Aaron Wilcox (33yo), Veronica Avluv (41yo), Marcus London (45yo), Stormy Daniels (34yo), Brendon Miller, Jessie Lee (29yo), Tommy Pistol (37yo), and Julia Ann (44yo)


Lee Ann (Stormy Daniels) has been planning a surprise anniversary party for her husband (Aaron Wilcox), but she finds him in bed with another woman, so maybe not. So she ends up going to a support group for divorcees with her friend Stacy (Julia Ann), whose husband left her for another man, and a couple women whose stories are even stranger. This whole sequence is very, very funny, and it features great cameos by Penny Pax and Allie Haze.

Lee Ann, Stacy, and their recently widowed friend Carmen (Veronica Avluv) then decide to go to Los Angeles for a "crazy getaway", but they do not have much luck. They are able to acqure some coke, but have no idea what to do with it. Carmen eventually breaks out to find her "true love", Ricardo (Marcus London), an exercise tape instructor who lives in LA, and Lee Ann and Stacy have to go after her, with the help of their new friends DJ DeeJay (Brendon Miller, who is great) and Clooney (Tommy Pistol).

It's an incredibly funny movie, though it also has some very sad parts, as well. A fair bit of time is spent on the story, as well, proportionally speaking, at least: 35 minutes or so. What's maybe most amazing about the story is that it passes the Bechdel Test with flying colors: Not only do two women talk to each other about something other than men, the entire movie revolves around the friendship between three women, who are all presented as real people who are struggling to make sense of their lives after the end of their relationships.

Unfortunately, though, the sex scenes are not very well integrated into the story, and most of them just aren't very good. The exception is the second scene, with Veronica Avluv and Marcus London. The sex doesn't feel terribly passionate, but she does have quite a few orgasms, so she's at least enjoying herself to that extent.

The larger problem is how the sex scenes are shot. The women are much more the focus than the men, and we tend to lose the men almost completely once the fucking starts. There are also way too many "medical" shots for our taste.

So, well, the story was a lot better than the sex. But we really did enjoy the story very much, and we can easily recommend the movie from that point of view.

Scene 1: Molly Bennett and Aaron Wilcox

Time: 12:30
Pleasure ❌, Passion ❌, Balance ✓

There is no setup at all to this scene: the movie starts with it.

There is little passion in the sex, and her vocalizations seem forced. It does not feel natural or authentic, and neither of them seems to experience much pleasure.

There are some wider shots as well as the closer ones, but there are a lot of "medical" shots once they start fucking. The worst part is that the camera is weirdly tilted through much of the scene, which almost made us sea-sick. And there is no transition at all between different parts of the scene.


They kiss on a bed, and she sucks his cock. He then eats her pussy as she lies back, and he puts a finger into her. He then kneels in front of her and fucks her as she lies back on the bed, and she reaches down and rubs her clit.

He lies on his back, and she gets astride him on her knees. They then switch to doggy style, and he pulls out and cums on her ass.

Scene 2: Veronica Avluv and Marcus London

Time: 12:00
Features: Deepthroat, Female Ejaculation, Multiple Female Orgasms, Vibrator
Pleasure ♀, Passion ✓, Balance ✓

Carmen (Veronica Avluv) masturbates with a Magic Wand while watching an exercise tape featuring "Ricardo" (Marcus London), then we join her fantasy.

The sex does not feel terribly passionate, but she has at least several orgams, squirting for at least a few of them. Somehow, though, it feels as if her orgasms are not really for her.

The camera work at the beginning is not bad, but she is much more the focus than he is.


They kiss on a bed, both in undies, and he rubs his hands over her tits. He takes off her bra and sucks her tits, and then she lies on the bed and he goes down on her. He puts a finger into her, and then she sucks his cock as he lies on the bed, deepthroating him a few times.

She then gets on top of him, squatting, and reverse, and she seems to cum, and even squirt, with him rubbing her clit, at about 27:25, then again not much later. They switch positions, and he kneels over her. She has a few more orgasms, and he cums on her tits.

Scene 3: Stormy Daniels and Brendon Miller

Time: 12:30
Features: Cum in Mouth, Deepthroat, Handjob
Pleasure ✓, Passion ❌, Balance ❌

Lee Ann's friends are getting crazy, and DJ DeeJay decides he might need to call for reinforcements, so she suggests they have their own party.

The basic problem here is that the sex does not feel at all natural. The changes of position seem pre-programmed, and no one seems to be having a terribly good time.

The camera work is not great. There are way too many "medical" shots, and she is much more the focus than he is.


He eats her pussy as she lies on a mattress on the floor, putting a couple fingers into her. She reaches down and rubs her clit as he thumb-fucks her. He then kneels up between her legs and fucks her as she reaches down and holds his nuts.

They disengage, and she stands up and undresses. He lies on the bed, and she gets astride him on her knees. She then gets off him and sucks him while lying over him, but not quite 69, and deepthroating him. hH jerks him until he cums into her mouth.

Scene 4: Jessie Lee, Brendon Miller, and Tommy Pistol

Time: 13:00
Features: Deepthroat, Mouth Fucking, Penis Masturbation
Pleasure ❌, Passion ✓, Balance ✓

This is a completely cartoonish scene, which is not necessarily a bad thing, as the movie is so way over the top. But it is hard to find anything sexy about it.

It's especially hard to find any evidence of her really enjoying herself. As a result, it seems to last much too long. They both cum on her tits as she alternates sucking them and deepthroating them.

Surprisingly, the sex here feels more natural than in most of the other scenes, although the position changes seem very unnatural, and the camera work is mediocre at best. We see very little of either of the men once they start fucking.

Scene 5: Julia Ann and Stormy Daniels

Time: 9:00
Features: Orgasm?
Pleasure ✓, Passion ✓

Lee Ann has sex with Stacy, since they are having trouble finding anyone else to do it.

The sex is not unnatural, but isn't exactly convincing, either.


They make out on a bed, with Stacy atop Lee Ann. She goes down on her, licking her through then around her panties. Stacy puts a couple fingers into Lee Ann as Lee Ann rubs her clit. Stacy then kneels up and takes off her shirt, then drops her pants as Lee Ann rubs her pussy from behind, and fingers her.

Lee Ann eats Stacy as she lies back on the couch, then straddles her face, then lies back along her body. Stacy lies Lee Ann over her lap and fingers her from behind as Lee Ann rubs her own clit, possibly to orgasm. They kiss a bit as the scene fades.


Time: 2:19, Director: Brad Armstrong, Date: 2013
Screenshots: On our Tumblr
On the web: Official Site, IAFD
Cast: Jessica Drake (39yo), Steven St Croix (45yo), Presley Hart (25yo), Brad Armstrong (48yo), Julia Ann (44yo), Xander Corvus (25yo), Asa Akira (27yo), Eric Masterson (43yo), TJ Cummings (33yo), Adrianna Luna (28yo), Embry Prada (27yo), Tommy Gunn (46yo), Capri Cavanni (31yo), Asphyxia Noir (24yo), Toni Ribas (38yo), and Derrick Pierce (39yo)


Brad Armstrong's Underworld won several major awards, including Movie of the Year at the 2013 AVN Awards and Feature Movie of the Year at the 2014 XBiz Awards. We thought we should have a look at it, then, especially after being so impressed by another award-winnning "mainstream" porn film: Wasteland.

There is a good idea here. Tanya, played by Jessica Drake, is shot during a mugging and is rushed to the hospital. While on the operating table, she descends to The Underworld. She there encounters characters representing the machines keeping her alive, the scalpel being used in surgery, her blood, the stitches and sutures, and, ultimately, death, with whom she has to fight for her life.

So, as we said, it is a good, and creative, idea, and there are some fantastic sets and costumes. But the details of the story were not nearly so impressive.

The first thing that disappointed us was when the first person Tanya meets in The Underworld explains to her that all of this, though it seems very real, is just her unconscious experience of what is happening to her under anaesthesia. Why does this need to be explained? Why not leave that as a question for the viewer to puzzle about?

That is a minor complaint. A larger one is that, while the characters in The Underworld have some symbolic significance, the sex Tanya has with them, so far as we can tell, has none. There was nothing about the way the characters behaved during sex that reflected who they were supposed to be. Worse, many of the sex scenes seemed gratuitous. That is, they had nothing to do with the story.

In the second scene, for example, a doctor (male, of course) has sex with one of the nurses (female, of course) at the hospital. We will see him again, when he operates on Tanya, but the sex has nothing to do with anything. And in the third and fifth scenes, various characters have sex after they have finished interacting with Tanya, for no other reason than that it seems like a good idea. Which is fine, in a way, but one wonders why they bother remaining in costume if they aren't going to stay in character.

The sex scenes are so independent of the story, in fact, that we aren't entirely sure we know what the story is or what its point is supposed to be. And not very much time is spent on the non-sex parts of the story: less than 30 minutes out of a fair bit over two hours.

We also were not that impressed with the acting. To be honest, we have always thought that Jessica Drake tended to overact her roles, and that is true here.

Finally, and perhaps unsurprisingly, most of the sex scenes are extremely pornish and are shot in an extremely pornish way, as well. There is a lot of anal, there are a lot of facials, and so forth. That can all be fine if handled properly, but here it simply feels like a purely male sort of fantasy, one that is somewhat out of place in a movie focused on a woman.

Scene 1: Jessica Drake and Steven St Croix

Time: 9:00
Features: Cum in Mouth
Pleasure ❌, Passion ✓, Balance ✓

This is a fairly short scene, and there is no build-up at all. The sex is reasonably realistic and passionate, however, though she never seems at all aroused.

The camera work is medicore at best. There are some wider shots, but mostly we see him only incidentally.


She sucks his cock, and then they get into a 69. He flips them over and eats her pussy from behind, then pulls her up onto her knees and fucks her from behind. She squats over him, then falls onto her knees. She then lies on her back, and he kneels up in front of her. She rubs her clit a bit, and he then pulls out and tries to cum into her mouth, but mostly dribbles onto her tits.

Scene 2: Presley Hart and Brad Armstrong

Time: 15:00
Features: Orgasm
Pleasure ♀, Passion ✓, Balance ❌

Doctor and nurse have a quickie in the nap room.

There is some authentic passion in the sex, but she becomes much too (seemingly) aroused much too fast, which makes the rest of it seemed overly performed, though she does at least seem to cum. And, unfortunately, the ending is completely pornish.

The camera work is again very unbalanced. There are some wider shots from time to time, but we hardly see him at all while she is sucking him, and we lose him, fairly badly, once they start fucking. There's no indication at all that any real effort is being made to include him in the scene.


He pushes her back onto the bed and puts his hand into her pants, rubbing her pussy. He then pulls down her pants to her knees, pushes back her legs, pulls her panties aside, and goes down on her. He puts two and then three fingers into her, finger-fucking her. He then kneels by her head, and she pulls down his pants and sucks his cock. He strokes her pussy and asshole, then goes back to fingering her.

She pulls her pants off over her shoes as he stands up and takes off his shirt. He then fucks her mouth as she squats in front of him. He stands her up and rubs her pussy as he holds her to him and reaches around her, then pushes her onto the bed and eats her from behind. She kneels up and takes off her shirt and bra as he puts on a condom, then fucks her from behind.

He lies on the bed, and she gets astride him on her knees. They then roll over so he is on top of her. She bucks her hips onto him as he encourages her to cum on his cock, and she may cum at about 27:40. They keep fucking, and he pulls out and cums into her open mouth.

Scene 3: Julia Ann and Xander Corvus

Time: 5:30
Features: Cum in Mouth

Slice (Xander Corvus) and Mecha (Julia Ann), who represent the surgeon's scalpel and the machines keeping Tanya alive, have sex after they see her on her way.

The camera work here is a bit more interesting, overall, than in the first two scenes. But most of the shots are tight on her face. And this particular scene makes no sense in the context of the movie. Why are these two having sex? What does it have to do with anything?


She sucks his cock as he stands (on stilts or something) in front of her. He fucks her face a bit, and she then jerks him until he cums onto her tongue.

Scene 4: Asa Akira, Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, and TJ Cummings

Time: 15:30
Features: 69, Anal, Cum in Mouth, Double Penetration, Facial

Scarlet (Asa Akira) represents the blood that is being poured into Tanya's body from a transfusion. Why that means there is a foursome is not at all clear.

This is a completely pornish scene that feels dance-like at the beginning, and simply performed later. No one ever seems to be enjoying themselves terribly much.

We barely see the men at all—so little, in fact, that it was difficult for us to tell who was who for several minutes. And there are way, way too many "medical" shots.


Scarlet and Tanya kiss as they stand, and the two men stroke the women's lower bodies as they kneel next to and behind them. TJ then starts eating Tanya's pussy as she sits on a kind of bed, and Scarlet sucks Eric's cock. TJ stands, and Tanya sucks his cock, and Asa gets on all fours as Eric fucks her from behind.

TJ lies down on the bed, and Scarlet sucks him briefly before Tanya goes back to doing so. Tanya then feeds Scarlet TJ's cock, while Eric is still fucking her, and Scarlet pulls off him, turns around, and sucks him.

Eric then fucks Tanya as she lies on the bed, and TJ fucks Scarlet doggy-style. Scarlet then gets astride TJ on her knees, then gets off him again and sucks his cock as Tanya rides Eric. Asa gets atop TJ in a 69, and Eric then fucks her, doggy style, in the ass while Tanya rides TJ, reverse, first with her pussy, then with her ass.

TJ eats Tanya briefly, and then the two guys fuck Tanya together, as she lies over TJ. One of them pulls out of her ass and starts jerking as if he is going to cum in Tanya's open mouth. Asa leans over the other guy and jerks him until he cums in her mouth. Tanya then sucks him clean, and the women kiss. The first guy then cums onto both their faces.

Scene 5: Adrianna Luna, Embry Prada, and Tommy Gunn

Time: 8:30
Features: Cum in Mouth

Tanya emerges from a weird funky part of the Underworld into the dessert, where she is guided by the King of the Bone People (Tommy Gunn) and his two fiercest warriors (Adrianna Luna, Embry Prada). After they have taken her as far as they can, they have sex in the desert.

This entire scene is fairly pornish. There's no real relationship established between these three, and it is not at all obvious why they are having sex with each other (even "for fun"). Nor does anyone actually seem to be having much fun.

Needless to say, neither of the women ever seems near orgasm. He pulls out and cums into both their mouths.

The camera work is similar to that in the previous scenes. There are a few good moments, but the focus is much too much on the two women.

Scene 6: Capri Cavanni and Jessica Drake

Time: 11:00
Features: Anal, Dildo

Capri represents the gauze the surgeons are using. She and Jessica have sex on something akin to a lily pad in a very shallow pond.

The sex does not feel at all authentic, but the camera work here is much more interesting than in the earlier scenes, and overall the visual feel is very good. But it just doesn't feel as if either of them is really enjoying themselves (the performers or the characters), which leaves us wondering what they are doing and why. This is especially puzzling since "Gauze" tells Tanya at the beginning, "Lay back, close your eyes, and just breathe". The next thing we see is them having sex. Some sort of massage might have made sense here.


Jessica eats Capri's pussy from behind as Capri lies on her stomach, then puts a couple fingers into her, and Capri reaches back and rubs her clit. Jessica slaps Capri's ass a few times, then fingers her quite hard.

They switch positions, and Capri fucks Jessica's ass with a glass dildo. Jessica then takes control of the dildo, and Capri rubs her pussy from behind. Capri then lies on her back under Jessica, fucking herself with a glass dildo while eating Jessica's pussy. Jessica then grabs the dildo Capri is using and fucks her with it while leaning over her, from the side, to lick her clit. Capri reaches down to rub her clit, and she may cum at about 1:31:30.

Scene 7: Asphyxia Noir, Jessica Drake, and Toni Ribas

Time: 20:00
Features: 69, Anal

Tanya is "stitched" to a wall, and Stitch (Asphyxia Noir) and Suture (Toni Ribas), Stitch says, want to "hold her tight". She is released, and she and Stitch have sex on a bench of sorts, where they are soon joined by Suture.

The scene is, again, fairly pornish. No one seems to be having a particularly good time, and the entire scene feels like a performance with no particular purpose—which is especially annoying, since the scene is the longest in the movie. Neither of the women ever seems very aroused. He pulls out and cums on Stitch's stomach.

As in much of the rest of this movie, we simply do not see much of him at all. And there is not much interesting about the camera work. There is an attempt to do something with the way scenes are switched—there's a sort of flash-back, flash-forward thing that happens—but it doesn't really work.

Scene 8: Jessica Drake and Derrick Pierce

Time: 13:30
Features: Anal

Tanya meets Death (Derrick Pierce) and attempts to bribe him with sex.

This is a very silly scene, with her being ordered, "Get on your knees and beg for your life", by sucking his cock. Which seems like a very strange metaphor that unintentionally illustrates the sort of powerplay too often at work in porn, one that favors those how have power anyway. The rest of the sex is no better, and no more interesting.

To be honest, we barely paid attention to this scene. The sex feels almost like a way of delaying the actual end of the movie.

As we mentioned above, the Death character obviously has some symbolic value, and her attempted bribe has some, too: She's a "fighter". But the sex itself does not pick up any of those themes, let alone develop them. How could it do so? She could become sexually dominant, make him do her bidding, or something of that sort. On the contrary, it ends with him being dominant in the standard, pornish way: by cumming into her open mouth as she kneels in front of him.

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