You know the feeling. You'd like to watch some porn with your cuddliest friend, and it's all going fine when something happens on screen that makes you cringe, makes your partner wince, and might even be so bad that it turns one or both of you off.
Maybe it's insulting language. Maybe it's anal sex when the woman clearly isn't ready for it or doesn't seem to enjoy it. Maybe it's a blowjob that is so violent it leaves her gagging. Maybe it's that the woman is being used for the man's pleasure, that he couldn't give a shit about her, and that the movie makes it seem like that's supposed to be perfectly fine. Maybe it's pornish poses that make the whole thing seem like a performance. Maybe it's that the camera has a "male gaze" that leaves one of you struggling to find something you'd like to see. Maybe it's the "money shots" that make it seem like a woman's duty to swallow her man's load every time he ejaculates. Maybe it's one of a thousand other things, big and small, that make porn suck.
Whatever it is, we aim to help you avoid all of that.
But what is it that we're looking for? We know what we don't want. But what is it that we do want?
We want porn that treats people having sex as people. In particular, we want porn that treats women having sex as people, not as carriers for tits and holes. We want porn that treats men having sex as people, too, not as disembodied penises.
We want porn that treats women as men's equals, even when they are naked, even when they are having sex. We want porn that understands that sex isn't something men do to women and women do for men, but that sex is something people who care about each other do together—men, women, and people of other genders and no gender.
We want porn that offers an honest presentation of female sexual pleasure. We want real female orgasms, because we love female orgasm.
We want porn that portrays healthy attitudes about sex, gender, and sexuality. We want porn that portrays men who respect their female sexual partners, care about their pleasure, and care about them. We want porn that shows strong, confident women who love sex. We want porn that shows loving couples, and loving triples, too.
We want porn that shows people's faces, both women's faces and men's faces, because we want to connect with the performers, and people's faces are what express what they are feeling. Besides, watching someone's face as they cum is incredibly erotic, as the brilliant website Beautiful Agony, which contains nothing but close-ups of people's faces as they masturbate to orgasm, proves. (Check it out if you've never seen it. It's amazing.)
We want porn that isn't afraid of romance. We want to see characters who are supposed to be married to each other kiss, caress, and express affection the way a real couple would. We want to see couples having a romantic tryst express the excitement appropriate to the moment. We want to see people laugh as they make love. We want to see people cuddle in bed after they're done making love. Because that's what people do.
We want porn that doesn't confuse romance with sex that is so "soft and sensual" that it's boring. We want porn that understands you can have wild, crazy sex with someone you love.
We want porn that just lets the performers have sex. We want the camera to get out of the way, and we want the director to stop telling the performers what to do. They're the ones who know what's going to work for them. And what works for them is pretty much going to work for us, too, because passion and chemistry are what make a scene hot.
We want porn that understands that, in the right context, anything can be appropriate and, in the wrong context, nothing is. Rough sex is fine, but only when it's consensual and enjoyable for both partners, not when it's borderline sexual assault. Anal sex is fine, too, but only if it's what both partners want and what both partners enjoy. Even men cumming on women's faces and in their mouths is fine. It isn't intrinsically degrading for a women to swallow her partner's cum. It can be loving and romantic, but only if it's what she wants to do and, preferably, if it comes naturally in the course of love-making.
We want porn in which the female performers are free to masturbate themselves, all the way to orgasm if they wish, even while they are fucking a male partner. Confident, loving men aren't threatened by their partner's pleasure but take pleasure in it themselves.
We want authentic cunnilingus capable of giving the woman actual pleasure, not a guy so busy trying not to block the camera's view of her genitals that he can barely make contact with her clitoris.
We want authentic lesbian porn that shows women who love women enjoying the women they love, not women pretending to love women for the benefit of a male audience.
We want authentic female masturbation. We love masturbation. We especially love the myriad ways women have to get themselves off, and we wouldn't mind learning a few new tricks.
We want authentic male masturbation, too. We think it'd be really hot to watch a heterosexual couple masturbate together. We enjoy that kind of thing ourselves all the time. Unfortunately, however, that may be the rarest of the rare.
We want good stories, we want decent acting, and we want the performers to stay in character while they're having sex. (Yeah, we even want decent acting during the sex scenes.)
We want attractive women, and we want handsome men. But we also want porn that isn't afraid of humanity's wonderful variety. We want to see different skin tones, different ethnicities, different body shapes, different ages, different preferences, and different anything else you can think of.
We want a whole lot. But we're going to find it. And we're going to help you find it, too.
For more of our thoughts about this topic, check out the Essays and Reflections page.
For some other perspectives on feminist porn:
Maybe it's insulting language. Maybe it's anal sex when the woman clearly isn't ready for it or doesn't seem to enjoy it. Maybe it's a blowjob that is so violent it leaves her gagging. Maybe it's that the woman is being used for the man's pleasure, that he couldn't give a shit about her, and that the movie makes it seem like that's supposed to be perfectly fine. Maybe it's pornish poses that make the whole thing seem like a performance. Maybe it's that the camera has a "male gaze" that leaves one of you struggling to find something you'd like to see. Maybe it's the "money shots" that make it seem like a woman's duty to swallow her man's load every time he ejaculates. Maybe it's one of a thousand other things, big and small, that make porn suck.
Whatever it is, we aim to help you avoid all of that.
But what is it that we're looking for? We know what we don't want. But what is it that we do want?
We want porn that treats people having sex as people. In particular, we want porn that treats women having sex as people, not as carriers for tits and holes. We want porn that treats men having sex as people, too, not as disembodied penises.
We want porn that offers an honest presentation of female sexual pleasure. We want real female orgasms, because we love female orgasm.
We want porn that portrays healthy attitudes about sex, gender, and sexuality. We want porn that portrays men who respect their female sexual partners, care about their pleasure, and care about them. We want porn that shows strong, confident women who love sex. We want porn that shows loving couples, and loving triples, too.
We want porn that isn't afraid of romance. We want to see characters who are supposed to be married to each other kiss, caress, and express affection the way a real couple would. We want to see couples having a romantic tryst express the excitement appropriate to the moment. We want to see people laugh as they make love. We want to see people cuddle in bed after they're done making love. Because that's what people do.
We want porn that doesn't confuse romance with sex that is so "soft and sensual" that it's boring. We want porn that understands you can have wild, crazy sex with someone you love.
We want porn that just lets the performers have sex. We want the camera to get out of the way, and we want the director to stop telling the performers what to do. They're the ones who know what's going to work for them. And what works for them is pretty much going to work for us, too, because passion and chemistry are what make a scene hot.
We want porn in which the female performers are free to masturbate themselves, all the way to orgasm if they wish, even while they are fucking a male partner. Confident, loving men aren't threatened by their partner's pleasure but take pleasure in it themselves.
We want authentic cunnilingus capable of giving the woman actual pleasure, not a guy so busy trying not to block the camera's view of her genitals that he can barely make contact with her clitoris.
We want authentic lesbian porn that shows women who love women enjoying the women they love, not women pretending to love women for the benefit of a male audience.
We want authentic female masturbation. We love masturbation. We especially love the myriad ways women have to get themselves off, and we wouldn't mind learning a few new tricks.
We want authentic male masturbation, too. We think it'd be really hot to watch a heterosexual couple masturbate together. We enjoy that kind of thing ourselves all the time. Unfortunately, however, that may be the rarest of the rare.
We want good stories, we want decent acting, and we want the performers to stay in character while they're having sex. (Yeah, we even want decent acting during the sex scenes.)
We want attractive women, and we want handsome men. But we also want porn that isn't afraid of humanity's wonderful variety. We want to see different skin tones, different ethnicities, different body shapes, different ages, different preferences, and different anything else you can think of.
We want a whole lot. But we're going to find it. And we're going to help you find it, too.
For more of our thoughts about this topic, check out the Essays and Reflections page.
For some other perspectives on feminist porn:
